Talking with Jack. . .

I know I’ve forgotten tons of the funny and crazy things Jackson has said in the months that I was on blogger hiatus but here are a few things that come to mind (and that I had saved in my phone).

******************************

Monday morning we were eating breakfast and Jackson said, “mom, I eat one bite of eggs and then one bite of oatmeal.  That’s just how I roll.   You wanna know why I roll like that, because (singing) I’m cool like that, I’m cool like that, I’m cool like that, I’m cool like that!” 

******************************

Jackson: Papa is really selfish sometimes.

Me: Jackson, why would you say that about your Papa?

Jackson: Because he won’t just give us Freckles.  He should give her to us and just find a new dog.  We can take care of her!

******************************

When discussing the rapture and that guy that thought it was happening a few weeks ago. . .

Jackson: How does God bring your spirit to heaven anyway?

Me: I don’t really know Jack but that’s a good question.

Jackson: I know I know! I think God puts a strip on your back and then uses a huge magnet to pull you into heaven.

******************************

Jack has a major imagination.

Jack: What is that noise?

Me: It’s the dishwasher, I just turned it on.

Jack: Oh.  Phew.  I thought it was a bad guy putting powder into his gun.  Don’t worry mom. If it was I would run into the play room and grab the batacas (they boys favorite bats that are covered in material) and protect you and Bear.  I’m tougher than all bad guys and will always protect my family.

******************************

Driving in the car on the way to Nanny and Paw Paws Baron coughed.

Jackson: Bear, quit being such a hypochondriac!  You are fine!

******************************

Jackson: Hey mom, when you feel a good thought in your heart you know it’s from Jesus.    What is it from when you have a bad thought?

******************************

Jack: Mom what did you just spray on the windshield?

Me: Windshield wiper fluid.

Jack: Oh, who’s ears did they get the fluid from?

I guess Jack has only heard the term fluid when we were talking about his ear infections and fluid behind his eardrums.  I explained that fluid wasn’t always taken from a kids ears

******************************

Someone honked at us while driving.

Jack: Mom, just honk back at that mean car.  It’s their punishment from God for being rude to you!

******************************

After going under water in the swimming pool.

Jack:  Uh oh mom.  My boogers are really scared!  Water got up into my nose and now they are afraid that pirates are coming!

******************************

Jackson: Mom, please can I have a little sister.  I really want a sister named Wendy.

Me: No, Jackson.  God gave you a brother and that’s really awesome because brothers are best friends.  And besides you want to play soccer and go to gymnastics camp and do lots of fun things.  I don’t have enough time to take you, Bear and a sister to do very many things. 

Jackson (who is BEGGING to play soccer): What if I give up soccer and just help with Wendy?

Me: Still not going to happen Jack.  God gave us two boys.  I would be way too tired with 3 kids.

Jackson: Adrienne is having 3 kids.  She’s not tired at all.

******************************

After leaving Adrienne’s house the other day.

Jackson: Hey mom, you know how there are regular cars and then minivans.  And minivans are bigger than regular cars.  Well, Adrienne’s house is kind of a minivan house isn’t it?

******************************

I love the way Jackson talks.  When he’s curious about something he makes a statement and then asks why.   Such as:

God can do anything.  Why?

Light bulbs burn out after a while.  Why?

Dogs like to sniff you when they first meet you.  Why?

******************************

At Costco a lady was giving out samples of crackers.

Jackson:  Do these crackers have autolyzed yeast?

Costco Sample Lady: I don’t even know what that is. . .

Jackson: Oh, it’s Spanish for MSG.  Don’t eat MSG ever, even in Spanish!

******************************

At Kroger yesterday we were checking out and next to the register they had a bunch of Starbucks gift cards.

Jackson: Hey mom look, Starbucks is on groupon today.  Let’s call dad and see if we should buy it!

******************************

A very small branch from our tree was in our pool.

Jackson:  Oh no!  How long ago did this branch die? Did it’s spirit already go to heaven?

*******************************

Jackson:  Hey mom, sometimes when I am asleep bad guys attack me.  But when I’m awake nothing can attack me.  I am the most powerful man in the world.

*******************************

Jackson: Mom, how come some people are a different color than us?

Me: Well, God made everyone different so that the world would be prettier.  He made some people black and some people white and some. . .

Jackson: (interrupting) MOM!  Mom, where are the white people?  I really want to see some of those!

Me: Um, Jack, we are white people.

Jackson: No way mom.  (looking at his arm) We are NOT white.  White is like daddy’s underwear.  We are pink, or yellow, or something.  But we are not white!