Surviving. . .at the Speed of Life

I know that everyone is super busy these days but man, I am definitely feeling it!  We have been going so crazy lately that it’s truly been survival mode.  I saw something on Pinterest the other day that said, “the happiest people in life are not those with the best of everything but those that make the best of everything.”  What a very true statement.  It really made me think because I have always felt like one of those people.  Happy, stress free, enjoying life, blessed beyond measure etc.  Of course my extended family would agree far less with that statement and my friends and those who I see daily would agree far more but that’s a different story entirely.  Anyway, I have been reflecting on why I feel so  beaten down lately and how to turn it around.

Getting the house on the market was the most ridiculous under taking ever.  Everybody knows that my family lives in our house which means it is not for show and it certainly looks that way.  My boys jump and climb every where and enjoy life and we have clutter.  That second part might need to be restated for emphasis. . .WE HAVE LOTS O’ STUFF.  I mean really, after literally stuffing the garage I have realized that we may need to go on hoarders.  So, finally the gates of heaven have opened, all of the stars aligned and our house made it on the market on Monday.  And no, that’s not a huge exaggeration-I think God had to intervene to get this puppy ready!
Of course Monday both of my boys were home sick from school (Bear had puked RED AND PURPLE all over the freshly shampooed carpet the day before pictures were to be taken) that day so we had to turn down 3 showings.  But yesterday we had 4 so hopefully that will keep up.  And then maybe, just maybe this house will be perfect for some family just starting out!
Anyway, after 4-6 weeks of decluttering, fixing everything, cleaning everything, making everything look “show ready” etc.  We are done but it took a TON out of us financially, emotionally and physically.  If I ever want to move again please make me read this post!

Jay leaves for work by 6 each morning and often earlier.  I am up with the kiddos at 7ish.  We usually work on house, Presents from Alex, etc. until midnight.  And both of our kids are having trouble sleeping thru the night lately.  Last night Bear was up at 2 and due to my favorite pregnancy symptom (I HATE INSOMNIA) I have been up since 2 begging my brain for sleep.  Normally I would beg God but I have several much more pressing prayer issues right now and didn’t want to risk losing a big request over a night of sleep.  Of course I’m kidding and did pray for sleep but I do seriously feel that way sometimes. 

So, combine lots of household stress with lots of financial stress (getting the house ready in the same month as getting a new car among many other things) and throw in some serious sleep deprivation and massive pregnancy hormones and it’s the perfect storm of crazy lady disaster.  I was throwing up on and off until 22 weeks which was much less fun that you might think.  I’m feeling massive sympathy for bulimics every where because my throat is still burning like crazy.  Now that I’m 24 weeks it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve been sick (other than Sunday night when I puked cleaning up Bear’s puke-fun times for all) so that’s a tremendous blessing. 

Jay’s been having all kinds of strange health issues which have been keeping both of us on our knees with God and which will hopefully be soon resolved.  But his hours are not conducive to great health and there is really nothing that we can do about that at this time.  I’m working to help our family to eat healthier etc. but with the house on the market it’s not really the easiest time either.  NEVER having a single dish in the sink is not second nature for me.

It just seems like right now things are piling up, going crazy and getting very out of control.  We’ve had other several situations in the last few weeks/months that I won’t post about but that have complicated matters and really thrown one or the other of us off.   Our house really felt under attack for a while and praise the Lord that after some serious prayer a few things happened at/with Church that really let me know that God was right on top of every situation in my life and that I was where I needed to be right now.

Our headbands were featured in this quarters catalog for a great toy store which is totally awesome but it created an insane amount of work and stress during not the best time.  Hopefully when we get paid in May we will think it was semi worth it.

I have over 200 emails in my personal account and have started just deleting most of them.  I broke down and got a stupid iphone and it’s not working properly.  I can’t get email on it half of the time and my texts are sent late or not at all.  Dang technology NOT making my life easier right now.  Neither is my jaw which due to tmj popped and then didn’t work for several days.  Being pregnant I couldn’t get x rays to determine the problem or a good fix but luckily we are blessed with fabulous chiropractor friends who have gotten it 50% better.  But it’s the little things, like your jaw working properly that are so great.  Ordinarily a liquid diet would be viewed as a great weight loss tool but being prego it’s not my first choice.

House hunting is crazy.  Shopping for shoes is my least favorite things in life so shopping for a house is one of those bullet to the head types of experiences.  Now sure if we were independently wealthy and not terrified about the increase in utilities etc. I am sure it would be slightly less stressful but let’s face it-I’m not good at spending money.  It makes me stress.  So spending 30 years worth of money is not my favorite thing to do.

  I know this sounds like a ton of complaining and whining and for that I apologize but blogger doesn’t do private posts and I have packed away my dairies (maybe since I’m 33 I should start calling them journals?) so this is my only outlet.  Well, it’s either this or locking myself in the laundry room crying with a box of girl scout cookies.  And please know that I do recognize that we have SO VERY MUCH to be thankful for but I just thought a truly honest post at a stressful time wouldn’t kill anyone.  Talking to people who have grown children all I ever hear is what a wonderful job they did and how easy it was to have every part of their life perfect (and tidy of course) at all times and I don’t think it will be a bad thing to remember a super complicated blip on the radar of my happy life.  I am just tired of hearing about (and internalizing) how everyone handled their 25 perfectly behaved children with no problem and even happily carried them up (and this was before baby bjorns had even been invented so it was much that harder) hill both ways in the snow still finding the time to clean and cook and freshen up their lipstick before their husbands returned home.  If that’s you, congratulations-you are a rock star.  But the rest of us are lucky to get out for the day without spit up or poop covering too much of their bodies.

At least my kids can read this someday and see that while we had an awesome life and enjoyed them tremendously there were seasons of chaos.  And I’ll be forced to remember that there were times when praying for my sanity seemed like a full time job.  And I know that in a few months things will have calmed down.  Actually in a few months I’ll be in the initial bliss/hell of a (bliss during the days and hell at night) newborn phase.  {sidenote-Pirate I love you with all of my heart but please for the love of all things holy be a good sleeper.}
 But a few months after that things will calm down and I’ll go back to my happy carefree self.  But for now in the midst of a little crazy I am constantly praising God that all I have to complain about is temporary and petty stuff and realizing that he has blessed me with a wonderful husband and amazing children.  And yes, occasionally hiding in the laundry room (I can’t let the kids see me eating sugar) with some hagen daz and an Us Weekly magazine.

Just keepin’ it real!