Baby Kicks

Pirate has been kicking like crazy lately and I LOVE it!  I’m definitely not a lover of pregnancy (love babies with all my heart just really wish that Amazon delivered them) but my very favorite, coolest thing in the world, miracle happening in side of me, part is the kicking.  So come on Pirate, kick it up-the whole family loves feeling it.  And yes, don’t worry, if you come out a girl I will go thru these blog posts and change your nickname to something more girly.  Reagan Patterson, who insists that you are a girl has named you Birdie and asks about you daily so maybe we’ll go with that for a nickname should you end up a girl.  Either way we love you and are so excited to meet you!

Surviving. . .at the Speed of Life

I know that everyone is super busy these days but man, I am definitely feeling it!  We have been going so crazy lately that it’s truly been survival mode.  I saw something on Pinterest the other day that said, “the happiest people in life are not those with the best of everything but those that make the best of everything.”  What a very true statement.  It really made me think because I have always felt like one of those people.  Happy, stress free, enjoying life, blessed beyond measure etc.  Of course my extended family would agree far less with that statement and my friends and those who I see daily would agree far more but that’s a different story entirely.  Anyway, I have been reflecting on why I feel so  beaten down lately and how to turn it around.

Getting the house on the market was the most ridiculous under taking ever.  Everybody knows that my family lives in our house which means it is not for show and it certainly looks that way.  My boys jump and climb every where and enjoy life and we have clutter.  That second part might need to be restated for emphasis. . .WE HAVE LOTS O’ STUFF.  I mean really, after literally stuffing the garage I have realized that we may need to go on hoarders.  So, finally the gates of heaven have opened, all of the stars aligned and our house made it on the market on Monday.  And no, that’s not a huge exaggeration-I think God had to intervene to get this puppy ready!
Of course Monday both of my boys were home sick from school (Bear had puked RED AND PURPLE all over the freshly shampooed carpet the day before pictures were to be taken) that day so we had to turn down 3 showings.  But yesterday we had 4 so hopefully that will keep up.  And then maybe, just maybe this house will be perfect for some family just starting out!
Anyway, after 4-6 weeks of decluttering, fixing everything, cleaning everything, making everything look “show ready” etc.  We are done but it took a TON out of us financially, emotionally and physically.  If I ever want to move again please make me read this post!

Jay leaves for work by 6 each morning and often earlier.  I am up with the kiddos at 7ish.  We usually work on house, Presents from Alex, etc. until midnight.  And both of our kids are having trouble sleeping thru the night lately.  Last night Bear was up at 2 and due to my favorite pregnancy symptom (I HATE INSOMNIA) I have been up since 2 begging my brain for sleep.  Normally I would beg God but I have several much more pressing prayer issues right now and didn’t want to risk losing a big request over a night of sleep.  Of course I’m kidding and did pray for sleep but I do seriously feel that way sometimes. 

So, combine lots of household stress with lots of financial stress (getting the house ready in the same month as getting a new car among many other things) and throw in some serious sleep deprivation and massive pregnancy hormones and it’s the perfect storm of crazy lady disaster.  I was throwing up on and off until 22 weeks which was much less fun that you might think.  I’m feeling massive sympathy for bulimics every where because my throat is still burning like crazy.  Now that I’m 24 weeks it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve been sick (other than Sunday night when I puked cleaning up Bear’s puke-fun times for all) so that’s a tremendous blessing. 

Jay’s been having all kinds of strange health issues which have been keeping both of us on our knees with God and which will hopefully be soon resolved.  But his hours are not conducive to great health and there is really nothing that we can do about that at this time.  I’m working to help our family to eat healthier etc. but with the house on the market it’s not really the easiest time either.  NEVER having a single dish in the sink is not second nature for me.

It just seems like right now things are piling up, going crazy and getting very out of control.  We’ve had other several situations in the last few weeks/months that I won’t post about but that have complicated matters and really thrown one or the other of us off.   Our house really felt under attack for a while and praise the Lord that after some serious prayer a few things happened at/with Church that really let me know that God was right on top of every situation in my life and that I was where I needed to be right now.

Our headbands were featured in this quarters catalog for a great toy store which is totally awesome but it created an insane amount of work and stress during not the best time.  Hopefully when we get paid in May we will think it was semi worth it.

I have over 200 emails in my personal account and have started just deleting most of them.  I broke down and got a stupid iphone and it’s not working properly.  I can’t get email on it half of the time and my texts are sent late or not at all.  Dang technology NOT making my life easier right now.  Neither is my jaw which due to tmj popped and then didn’t work for several days.  Being pregnant I couldn’t get x rays to determine the problem or a good fix but luckily we are blessed with fabulous chiropractor friends who have gotten it 50% better.  But it’s the little things, like your jaw working properly that are so great.  Ordinarily a liquid diet would be viewed as a great weight loss tool but being prego it’s not my first choice.

House hunting is crazy.  Shopping for shoes is my least favorite things in life so shopping for a house is one of those bullet to the head types of experiences.  Now sure if we were independently wealthy and not terrified about the increase in utilities etc. I am sure it would be slightly less stressful but let’s face it-I’m not good at spending money.  It makes me stress.  So spending 30 years worth of money is not my favorite thing to do.

  I know this sounds like a ton of complaining and whining and for that I apologize but blogger doesn’t do private posts and I have packed away my dairies (maybe since I’m 33 I should start calling them journals?) so this is my only outlet.  Well, it’s either this or locking myself in the laundry room crying with a box of girl scout cookies.  And please know that I do recognize that we have SO VERY MUCH to be thankful for but I just thought a truly honest post at a stressful time wouldn’t kill anyone.  Talking to people who have grown children all I ever hear is what a wonderful job they did and how easy it was to have every part of their life perfect (and tidy of course) at all times and I don’t think it will be a bad thing to remember a super complicated blip on the radar of my happy life.  I am just tired of hearing about (and internalizing) how everyone handled their 25 perfectly behaved children with no problem and even happily carried them up (and this was before baby bjorns had even been invented so it was much that harder) hill both ways in the snow still finding the time to clean and cook and freshen up their lipstick before their husbands returned home.  If that’s you, congratulations-you are a rock star.  But the rest of us are lucky to get out for the day without spit up or poop covering too much of their bodies.

At least my kids can read this someday and see that while we had an awesome life and enjoyed them tremendously there were seasons of chaos.  And I’ll be forced to remember that there were times when praying for my sanity seemed like a full time job.  And I know that in a few months things will have calmed down.  Actually in a few months I’ll be in the initial bliss/hell of a (bliss during the days and hell at night) newborn phase.  {sidenote-Pirate I love you with all of my heart but please for the love of all things holy be a good sleeper.}
 But a few months after that things will calm down and I’ll go back to my happy carefree self.  But for now in the midst of a little crazy I am constantly praising God that all I have to complain about is temporary and petty stuff and realizing that he has blessed me with a wonderful husband and amazing children.  And yes, occasionally hiding in the laundry room (I can’t let the kids see me eating sugar) with some hagen daz and an Us Weekly magazine.

Just keepin’ it real!

Marriage

Jackson: Mom, how old do you have to be to get engaged?
Me: Well, probably 22 so that you are out of college.  And so that you’ve had time to really get to know who ever you want to marry.  Once you get married it’s for life so it has to be with someone you know really well.
Jackson: I want to be engaged at 4.
Me:  Who do you want to be engaged to?
Jackson: Ellie, I’ve known her the longest.
Me: Well, you really can’t get engaged until you have a job.  You have to be able to support a family to get married.
Jackson: Hmmm, well, we can pick up change that we find laying around. Does that count as a job?  I find lots of money for Hawi (the compassion international child that his Sunday school class has adopted and where Jackson puts ALL of his earnings) that way.
Me: Well, as thrilled as your wife’s parents would be about that career you need to be a little older to make that decision.
Jackson:  When I marry Ellie I think we’ll have to live half with Adrienne and half with you.  That way neither of the mommies have to miss us too much.
Me: Jack, why do you want to get married so badly?
Jack: Because I really want to drive my own car, and married people do that.

Kindergarten Cop

Both of my boys (and all boys in general from what I can tell) have been pretty impressed with their um, “boy parts” from birth.  Bear lately has reminded me of the kid from the movie Kindergarten Cop, you know, the one who stands up in class and says, “boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.”  Yep, that’s the one.  His teacher told me the other day that he told each person that he encountered that day that he had a penis.  Nice.
And recently he constantly looks at me (fully dressed) and says, “mommy has NO penis.”  He even started naming people that we knew and letting me know who did and did not have a penis.  “Gaga has no penis, Nanny has no penis, Papa has a penis, Jackson has a penis” etc.  Now, it’s gotten even worse-at Costco the other day he was pointing to people saying, “He has a penis.  She has no penis.  Mommy does that one have a penis?”  That’s right, he’ll ask if he’s unsure of someone’s gender.  It’s lovely.  Even more fantastic is that he speaks so much more clearly that people definitely know what he’s saying.  So, while I’m glad that we have taken experts advice and taught our children the correct terminology of body parts I sure do hope that this public labeling is a phase that passes quickly!

Pirate Update

Jackson has decided, well he decided Christmas day, that the baby is a boy.  His logic-that we have way too many nerf guns to have a sister in the house.  And he does not like Barbie dolls.  Anyway, so we are now calling the baby Pirate-not because it’s a name we would ever use (due to the face that we are not celebrities) but because it’s what he really wants us to name the baby should it be a boy. 

Anyway, I went to the doctor on Monday (for the second time) and Pirate is doing very well.  My first sonogram was two weeks ago and we of course did NOT find out the gender due to Jay’s excitement about the big surprise.  After hearing that all of the organs and important things looked perfect I did however ask the sonographer if she could determine the gender.  I wasn’t sure if the baby was positioned well etc.  And she replied, “oh yeah, there’s no mistaking this one!”  That combined with a feeling (I know, crazy pregnant lady and feelings) that I got in church a few months ago really makes me think that the baby is a boy.  And really if Pirate is a girl I am thrilled because I get to do all of the super fun girl stuff and if Pirate’s a boy I’m thrilled because I have all of the boy stuff and I really know boys.  I am quite accustomed to being a “boy mom” and I feel like I have a good handle on boy stuff.  And who wouldn’t want the my 3 son’s theme song to play in people’s heads when they see her walk in with three boys?!

But most importantly is that Pirate looks perfect!  I’m wondering if he/she will have Jack’s precious dimples or Bear’s adorable curls or some entirely new set of sweet features.  I am so excited to have a space to call the baby’s.  I think when I can start getting ready and getting all of the stuff out of the garage/hoarders style storage it will become so much more real and even more fun.  Pirate, we love you already and are trying to find a house with plenty of space for you and your big brothers to run and play!

A God-Following Adult

The following is a daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries.  A friend posted it in our MOMS Connection facebook page and then our speaker read it today.  It’s just wonderful and gives so much validation and support to those of us who do not have the “sit still and quietly behave all of the time” type of kiddos.  I know (and have already seen evidence of it happening) that so many of Jackson’s more “challenging” traits will be tremendous blessings once redirected.  And, while Bear has for the most part been a super easy kiddo, although definitely does NOT know how to sit still, I know there will be trials along the way with him as well.

I especially love her 3 rules at the bottom.  Anyway, great read very much worth the time!  I liked it so much that I signed up for the daily emails.

March 15, 2012

I Don’t Want to Raise a Good Child
Lysa TerKeurst

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV 1984)

My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year. And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the “normal” box. A lot out of the box actually.

She withdrew from traditional school. Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in online college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.

This didn’t surprise me really. Hope has always liked charting her own course. This thrills me now. But it didn’t thrill me so much in the early years of raising this strong-spirited child.

When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world’s worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained. And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.

One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch. All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers. They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their notes.

Not Hope.

She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller. So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free. She stripped off all her clothes. She ran across the food court. And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.

Really, nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain. Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.

I cried all the way home.

Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.

I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good.

But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers. So, over the years, I changed my prayer. “God help me to raise Hope to be who You want her to be.” Emphasis on, “God HELP ME!”

I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart. I sensed He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.

Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule-following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.

Today’s key verse reminds us we are training children so that when they are old they will not turn away from Biblical principles, but rather implement them in their life-long pursuit of God. Remember, the things that might aggravate you about your child today, might be the very things when matured that make them great for God’s kingdom tomorrow.

I’ve certainly seen this in raising Hope.

I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with three simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:

1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.
2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.
3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.

And all the mamas of fountain dancing children said, “Amen!”

Dear Lord, I know You desire for me to raise a God-following adult. Please give me Your wisdom as I seek to become the parent You called to this high honor. Redirect my perspectives and equip me for this task today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Nightmares

For the last several weeks most nights Jackson has had nightmares.  He’s had a problem with them on and off for years but lately the poor guy just can’t get a break.  We have eliminated all scary shows (he had watched some of the Spiderman cartoons from the 1970’s with Jay) and really watched what we talked about and they are just getting worse.  Last night was the most horrified I have seen my sweet boy.  After him nearly hyperventilating we finally just made a pallet for him on our floor (which we have not done before).  And then of course Bear woke up crying several times.  By 4 a.m. I had been up with one boy or another 5 times and was ready to crash.  I guess God’s getting me ready for that newborn stage again.  Hmmm, maybe that’s why so many friends asked how I was feeling today at church. . .
Anyway, we prayed a ton today with Jackson about his nightmares and hopefully he’ll have a peaceful night tonight.  It just breaks my heart to see him so upset.

Wow. . .

The day has come that we took our boys into an actual restaurant, had a meal, and. . .enjoyed the entire experience!  It was nothing short of amazing.  Now I know most families take their tots out to eat and have a great time.  Most parents do not know the extreme delight and frustration that comes from parenting our monkeys (nor do we know the intricacies of their kiddos). 
Anyway, Jackson on his own is great at restaurants, Bear-not so much.  And the combination is usually enough to have me in a state of frustration near tears as I realize that we just paid to not enjoy our meal while others looked at us as though we were the worst parents ever. 
But tonight-it was great.  The boys got along, they ate their food, they sat in their chairs.  By the end of the meal I felt as if heaven had opened up and the angels were singing while crowning me “good mother of the evening.”  Now that may be a bit dramatic but seriously, it beat the tears and common fears that my boys will behave like Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels at the table for ever.  My first thought was that WE HAVE ARRIVED!  My second thought was, well, in another two years when baby 3 is two then maybe we will arrive.  And then I realized that maybe baby 3 will be one of those kids that many of my friends have, you know the ones that are happy to stare at a coloring book for an hour.  I know, genetically, not probable-but still possible right? 
So for now, I bask in the glory of a meal out with the boys where we all had a fantastic time.  And I know better than to plan any more outings because this might never happen again!

Jackson and Bix

Jackson has made a great buddy at church named Bix (short for Beatrix).  I have promised him for literally 12 months that we would have a play date but they are in school on opposite days.  So when her mom called me to see if we could get together over spring break it was perfect timing!  Bix and Fiona came over and the kids of course had a blast.  Fiona was pretty bummed that we were a “doll free” kind of a home but Bix is a bit of a tomboy and perfectly happy to play Star Wars (she had brought her own light saber) the entire time.  She cracked me up as she said she would never be Princess Lea because she was boring.  She would only be Luke Skywalker and Jackson had to be whoever she decided at the moment.  I’ve not yet seen a little girl who could boss Jack around like this and it was hilarious.  She (who turned 5 in February) definitely called the shots!

After hours of Star Wars fighting Bix decided that she and Jack were a band.  She was performing like crazy and it was hysterical.

She really got into it and kept thanking all of she and Jackson’s “fans” for coming to the show and telling us all that she really did love us.

She would look at Jackson (who had moved on from Storm Trooper to fireman) and tell him what to do on the keyboard for each of her songs.  And he dutifully did it.

Not only was it fun having friends over but it’s also neat that Bix’s grandparents and my grandparents have been great friends for many years.  Grandmommy and Judy have attended the same Bible study for a number of years and now their grandkids and great grandkids are little buddies.

Fire Station Tour 2012

Last week we went to the fire station with our play group and once again had a blast! 

Trinity (a little girl in Jackson’s class at school and church and his teacher’s daughter) and Jackson.

Eva, Morgan and Zoe.

My baby Bear-I did LOVE that long hair!

Landy, Kiri and Kaiden.

Frankie Joy and Andie Jane.

Jack and Bear in the fire truck.

Bear LOVES Ellie.  He talks about her all of the time.  She is so sweet with younger kids and they just adore her.

Lots of kiddos playing in the truck.  Jackson was having a handful kind of a day and had to be told numerous times that he was NOT allowed to play with the headphones.

Bear and Charlie checking out the empty pants and boots.

Our awesome group!

Emilie, Frankie and Andie.

Bear kept trying to highjack Andie Jane.

Shaking hands with the cool firefighter.

Jack and Ellie holding hands and skipping down the hall.

It’s so hard to remember when it was just these two kiddos!

Jack was trying on all of his gear and telling Ellie (who was laughing) not to be afraid that it was still just him.

Such a great day with the kids!

Bear

Last week Jack was hanging with his favorite babysitter and so I had Bear all to myself.  He wanted me to take pictures of him at dinner.

Just love that sweet little guy!

Flight Museum

A few weeks ago Jack and I went to Alexander’s 5th birthday party at the flight museum.  We had such a fun time together.  I’m continually amazed at how wonderful it is to spend time with my little man.  He’s such a joy and a treat to be around.  He’s almost two different kids at this point, 1 when we are with big groups (this is the one that resists listening to reason and is more “active”) and another when we are at home with family or 1 on 1.  When it’s just he and I it is so incredibly different.  Jackson is my little buddy.  So helpful in every way and so much fun.  He amazes me with the things that he says and with his sweet and compassionate little heart.  I know that all moms feel like their kids are just the greatest in the world and I am no exception.
Anyway, I love going places with just Jackson because he’s just such a cool guy and so much fun to be around.  So, the party great and he loved it.

Playing in one of the many planes.

Snack and cake time.  Jack has such an outgoing personality that by the time we had cake he already knew who he was going to sit by the kids were calling him by name.  I love how easily he makes friends and really hope it keeps up.  Kids have so much self confidence and it’s awesome to watch.

The sweet birthday boy.

Jack and this little guy became fast friends searching for treasure in the planes.

I love Jackson’s smile here.  He was convince that he’d found something super special!

I’ve never stowed luggage quite like this before. . .

I didn’t get any pictures of Jack and Alexander other than this.  They were having a blast wrestling around the place. 

The only sad thing about the party was that Cora wasn’t there.  We know Alexander (and his parents) thru Carolyn who has been close with Aneta since college.  So, we’ve never hung out with them without the Oldenburg’s before.  We were all really missing them that day.

Movin’ On Up. . .

Well, to most of the world it would be moving down, but to me, I’m thrilled!
Now that you are wondering what in the world happened I will let you know that we traded in my maxima for a minivan.  For those who know me well you know that I LOVE minivans and have always thought that they were awesome.  So, I’m super excited.  Jay’s heart did bleed a little when we got the minivan but he soon commented that “it was a great car utility wise.  Just looks horrible.”   He did tell me that we would officially never be cool again and then I had to break it to him-it’s been years since we were cool.
Anyway, goodbye to the old car that comfortably fit 2 car seats in the back:

Jackson insisted that we take pictures of our car before we dropped it off at the dealership.  He has wanted to get a minivan since last September when we visited Sissy in Boston and rode around in hers and then bawled when he realized that getting a minivan meant giving up our maxima.  My sentimental little guy was crying saying, “but mommy, I have SO many great memories of this car!  Bear was a baby in this car and we held hands and sang and became best friends in here.  This car took us to Nanny and Paw Paw’s and Aunt Mandy’s and. . .”  Yes, apparently my sentimental disease is extremely contagious, or hereditary.  Anyway, after some tears and a farewell drive he’s now super stoked about the minivan:

It was my last choice color wise but I seriously already LOVE this vehicle.  It is so fantastic and has so much space and the automatic doors are the greatest!  It’s of course used but the leather and everything is in perfect condition.   I have a feeling that the entertainment system will come in VERY handy for our next road trip.  And I love that we can safely seat 8 and the mileage is BETTER than in my maxima.  Only by a few miles per gallon but still, it’s better. 
Jay has laughed at the fact that I am more excited about this car than any other I have ever had.  Yes, I am a dork.  So baby #3, you’ve already helped me to get my dream swagger wagon.  Thanks little one!

New Threads

I won a door prize at MOMS back in November and last week received it-these super cute shirts for the boys.

I have such a hard time believing that my boys are this BIG!

Aunt Mandy and Uncle Nick

Since Mandy and Nick were in town for the wedding they came by on both Saturday and Sunday to spend some time with the boys.  It is always like Christmas when they come to town because my boys love them so very much!  As usual they were great sports and played like mad competing in a giant nerf war.  By the end of what was over 90 minutes of intense “war” all 4 were sweating and laughing like crazy.  Mandy and Nick made a deal with Jackson that for kidfest this year they would buy some semi-automatic nerf guys for a major nerf war of the worlds!

Bear and Mandy were on a team.

A rare shot of all 4 of them in battle.  Notice Jay on the sofa fixing Grandmommy’s computer and me taking pictures.

We can’t wait to see Mandy and Nick again in May for Kidfest!

Kristin and Kevin’s Wedding

On February 18th we got to celebrate Kristin and Kevin getting married.  First of all it was beautiful and we were so happy for our good friends.  Secondly, I had thought in advance and asked Papa and Nana to babysit as a Christmas present so we had the WHOLE NIGHT OFF!  We had such a wonderful time and stayed at a hotel next door to the wedding.  It was awesome.  I had been a little nervous that the boys might not behave because the last time Papa and Nana had kept Jackson over night he was 9 months old and they had never kept Bear overnight.  But the boys were very well behaved and of course Papa and Nana had everything very much under control.  Thanks so much Dad and Laura for loving on our boys and showing them such a fantastic time!

The Girls. . .Amber, Adrienne, me, Kristin, Mandy and Leanne

The girls again, but this time Lesley and Jamie’s eyes are open so they let me post the picture.

Mandy and Nick.

Jay and I enjoyed our night off!

I forgot why we took this but I think someone mentioned that Jay was surrounded by women and it needed to be documented.

Jamie and Damian getting down on the dance floor.

A sweet shot of Karis and Barry (Kristin’s parents) with their oldest granddaughter, Frankie Joy.

Funny Man

Last week Jackson came up to me and said, “hey mom, do I look like the kinda guy you wouldn’t want to mess with?”